To listen to the podcast episode for Dear Standards, click here!
The irony of standards
Definition of standard
a level of quality or attainment.
an idea or thing used as a measure, norm, or model in comparative evaluations.
When it comes to dating, we all have standards, whether high or low. High standards to the point that they are almost unattainable and standards so low that they are almost non-existent. I had a conversation one day about standards with a member of the opposite sex and a question came to mind that hit me like a ton of bricks. What if you aren’t someone’s standard or you don’t meet their standards?
Now I know that we are not always someone’s cup of tea, but for me, I think very highly of myself. I’m God fearing, intelligent, humorous, mature, charismatic, a people’s person and beautiful inside and out, among so many other things. I consider myself a rare breed and top tier as it relates to what a man would want in a woman. So, the question, ‘what if you meet someone and as highly as you think of yourself, you are not their standard?” comes to mind. Like, what if they think that there is someone out there better than you? How Sway? Lol, but it really made me think.
Now, granted in relationships, we should find a mate that encourages and/or motivates us to be and do better but you never really think that of all of the qualities that you possess, they may not be up to par for someone. The irony!
Ooh Chile! It was high time for a chit chat about the dating scene in 2021. Is it as ghetto as it seems on social media? Are we still blaming Coronavirus? Listen to this week’s podcast episode here!
It seems like people are literally just dating to post it on social media. Dating as in getting to know someone, going on dates and making it official. It starts in the DM’s, then the first date pressures then the time frame before making it official. If the DM seems post worthy for a good laugh, a meme or 15 seconds of fame, you can rest assured that a screenshot of it will find its way to a Shade Room type of page’s post. If the first date is not perfect, it’s blasted on social media. Lastly, if all goes well from start to finish, it’s posted on social media in a force fed fashion and if the relationship doesn’t last, we’re all left wondering what happened.
Tik Tok has brought a few dating horrors to the conversation table. There’s a trend, well seemingly a trend, of men flipping the script. They are not spending their hard earned $40 on a date if the woman is not putting out at the end of the night. So they are opting for dinner at their house or no date at all. If they make it out to eat, they’ll go Dutch when the bill comes.
I missed the memo on all of this and thankfully so. I can’t even begin to think about what I would do if the man who asked me out on a date, decided to eat 75% of his food then sent it back and had it taken off of the bill. Then tells me that I have to pay my portion because he didn’t eat anything. Like, what?!! Or even if the man brings a friend on the date and then runs out on the bill? Like what?!?!?
Let’s not get it twisted, men and women have been cutting up for years. Since the beginning of time we’ve been on some BS. Women wanting free meals and not actually liking the person they are going on dates with. Men only wanting to have sex, not even caring to know last names, etc. Since we know that we have been trash, what’s the excuse now? Is it a new generation thing? Is there hope for the dating future?
P.s. I know that all of the dating scene hasn’t been bad. I know that there are success stories out there. I pray that those and other relationships start/continue to flourish. Happy dating!
March 9, 2017 was when I posted part one. I have posted many other blog posts and podcast episodes since then on how to save but part one has been the most popular. Since then, I have tweaked a few things. While writing this post I went back and read that post, I see that I will have to revisit a thing or two. I hope that part two will be as short and to the point as the first.
A lot has changed in 4 years. Mostly everything is digital now. This could make it easier or harder for some people to save. No worries, I hope my suggestions will help you out. First things first,
Open a savings account if you don’t have one already. Try to find an account that is high interest yielding (An account that will pay you a higher interest rate than a normal savings account for your money sitting in the bank).
Do an evaluation of your finances so that you’ll know realistically how much you can potentially save. (Calculate your income minus your bills, to determine how much is left over)
Set a goal. (Try to save $100 for the week, pay period or month)
Try doing a money challenge to get your savings ball rolling. (i.e. 52 week money challenge or $5 challenge)
Cut out unnecessary spending. (Take a break from coffee shops, fast food restaurants, shopping for a while)
Search online for class action lawsuits that may have affected you or unclaimed funds from the Treasury dept. (Once you get the check, put it into your savings account)
Fill out surveys or utilize cash back websites when shopping online. (They pay you for referrals also like Rakuten)
Redeem your cash back points for cash from your credit cards. (7,000 points could equate $50-$70cash depending on the company)
Transfer small amounts into your savings account randomly. (If your account has $443.76, transfer $3.76 or 43.76 into savings. Do that weekly or as often as you check your account.)
Use coupons when shopping for necessities (Put the amount you saved into your savings account. If using coupons caused you to save $15.88, put that amount into savings).
Put any change that’s laying around the house or in piggy banks/coke bottles (large amounts i.e. $50 worth) into the bank. (Cash them out at the coin machine and deposit the money into your savings account.)
Sell old clothes and/or shoes to a consignment shop or online and use the money you made to add to your savings account.
Don’t be afraid to ask for monetary gifts for special events instead of gifts. (This unexpected money goes into savings)
Use the interest that you’ve earned on your savings account to achieve any additional money goals or to pay down debt.
Saving small is still saving. Don’t despise meager beginnings. These small gestures will create bigger gestures until saving is no longer foreign but a lifestyle for you. Check out my podcast, YouTube channel and other blog posts for even more savings tips.