Dear Past,

This week’s podcast episode is centered around the PAST. We all have one and these are my thoughts on it. I’m speaking from a personal level about the past an how it affects your life and your relationships. I am 100% sure that I will revisit this topic when I have a co-host on the podcast because I believe that this is a topic that requires multiple points of views. But today, I’m being biased and just going to give my thoughts and opinions. Listen to the new episode here!

I have been wanting to talk about this topic for a while but just like with most of the episodes I do, I wait until the spirit moves me. So the past, memes, movies, thoughts and so many others things have been heavy on me so I figured it was high time to talk about it.

The past in the perspective of a person and who they are and how they are: I have spent many episodes talking about how my childhood made me and many others who we are. I believe that most of that is also choice driven. I made choices to be the opposite of what I saw as a child that was not right to me. I made the choice to break generational curses. I acknowledged what I could remember as a child and decided that I wanted different, so I became different. I could have easily used my childhood as a crutch and allowed it to cripple me. I could blame my failures and areas of lack on my upbringing but my drive, willpower and my spirit knows that I am supposed to be the change I wished I had. A crutch sounds like, “I can’t because…”, a lesson says “I will because…”. I honestly believe that the past should be left in the past and only brought up to testify how far you’ve come.

The past in relationships: In the last 3-4 years, I have had the same conversation with the same person over and over. It seems as though we can’t agree to disagree. I have not been in many committed relationships but the few that I have been in, I was never concerned about their past. I think that you should have a certain level of confidence to be able to not allow someone’s past to affect you. In that beginning stage of getting to know someone, I never liked to ask questions about their past and exes. I learned at an early age that how someone treated someone else, may not be the way they treat you. No two people are the same, therefore, results will always vary. Me finding out how you treated you ex or exes will only taint the person I know now. If as a teenager you were one way and I am meeting you as a 35 year old, why would I believe that you are that same person?

Is it necessary to tell your new partner about your past sexual partners? Like the actual number of people you’ve been with? How many times? The level of freakiness? I don’t believe it is necessary. I have met people who had 1 sexual partner before me and met people who had many before me. Am I entitled to know how many and how many times? I don’t believe so. I have made the mistake twice of telling men about my past partners and both times I wished I would have kept my mouth shut. I like to call myself an open book when meeting people. I am not ashamed of my past nor do I have any regrets so I have no problems telling my side of stories from my past. I believe that some men just can’t handle a woman who is open and make no excuses about her past and owning her decisions. We as women are allowed to have sex with other people before you come along. I digress. In short, don’t ask about someone’s past if you are going to park there. They don’t live there and if you have trouble moving on from THEIR past, you should just move on from THEIR life. SN: Your past is not limited to just your sex life.

Now, hear me and hear me clearly. The past is necessary because it has made you who you are. You should not be defined by your past but motivated by it. The past can also be subjective but I think that you have to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. What do you deem necessary to reveal? If you were once a serial killer, rapist, drug addict, in jail, a pedophile, the opposite sex, have a deadly disease, etc. those are things that I believe are necessary to share. Those aren’t the only things, just a few examples of the severity of what you should disclose to someone. We have all sinned and we all fall short daily but we can also be redeemed. We should not be anchored to our past because we can’t change what has already happened. We can only acknowledge the past, make better choices, do better and be different. Let the past fuel your future. You are worthy of a second chance.

Dear 2020,

Whew!!!! What a century this year has been. My bestie said that 2020 has been the longest shortest year. I remember 2016 being a year that was full of death and chaos but 2020 has taken on that title 100%. I know that at 12:01a on January 1st, 2021, things won’t automatically change for the best but I think everyone is hopeful and ready for a break. Anything can happen overnight but nothing happens overnight.

I think that 2020 genuinely was the push and the break that we all needed. As with any other year, there were wins and losses but this year, we (the world) collectively, were affected all at once. Let’s just break down 2020. Listen to the podcast episode here!

We took a huge hit in January with the tragic death of NBA legend Kobe Bryant, his daughter and 7 others on the helicopter. We barely made it through after trying to process such a great loss. I’m not even a basketball fan and his death took me by surprise and it was a reminder that life is short and to leave a print while you’re here. Life is for the living, live it!

Here comes February, the memorial service for Kobe and his daughter takes place and the United States is dealing with the impeachment of DT.

My favorite month ever March, marched right on in and added to the BS. While I was out of the country in Mexico, to celebrate myself and Toya’s birthday, the United States was going crazy. All we kept hearing about was how empty the stores were. Sanitizer, cleaning supplies and the toilet paper shortage. WHAT?!?!?! Corona Virus (COVID-19) had made it to the US in January but March was when the case numbers started to really increase. The pandemic officially started. The stock market crashed also. Quarantine lockdown began. Madness for sure ensued.

April was pretty much a blur, as we all were still adjusting to outside being closed. No restaurants were open for in house eating, no bars, long lines at stores and social distancing, limited capacity, curfews/early closing times for businesses and having to wear a mask in order to go any where. Americans received a stimulus check of $1,200 to help with the unfortunate effects of COVID-19.

May comes around and we hear that there are Killer Hornets that have made their way to the United States. Collectively the world wanted to fight. We could not take another blow. As 2020 would have it, she/he was not finished. Video footage of  multiple murders of innocent black men surfaced. Armaud Aubrey and George Floyd just to name a couple. Black Lives Matter in overdrive would be the theme for the next 6 or more months. There was unrest, protest, riots and racial tension. 

June comes in and footage from an incident months before surface and it was the slaughter, murder or killing of the beautiful Breonna Taylor. We were fed up. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

July, just like April, was a blur. 2020 wouldn’t let up.

August was filled with more protests. A little light shined on our part of the world when Kamala Harris was announced as Vice President Elect by Joe Biden. The first female and first black Vice President elect. Can’t have sunshine without a little rain. Chadwick Boseman passed away. Yep, our Black Panther, T’Challa died from colon cancer. His death, just like Kobe’s, reminded us that life is short and that you never know what battles others are fighting. He was diagnosed in 2016, and during this time, he starred in so many movies. He posted a picture a while back and he had visibly loss a lot of weight. Social media showed no mercy. Most hoped that the weight loss was for a movie role, others talked so badly about it. What showed most about him was his strength during a time when he was dying. No one knew and he gave his best performances.

In September, the world seemed to be opening back up. Not necessarily returning to normal, but outside was operating at about 75% capacity. Things were looking up, well, besides DT causing trouble before the upcoming election in November.

October slid by so fast, there was no time to cause trouble. We welcomed October, then it was Halloween. That’s it. No in between. LOL!

November’s BS started early because of election day. We all sat with bated breath because the election results were too close for comfort. Joe Biden won but DT was not going down without a fight. He screamed election fraud, voter fraud and every thing in between. Weeks later and after several recounts, we could finally breathe better knowing that there would be a new president come Jan 20th. A small beam of light to help us all cope before the second wave of COVID-19 would hit. Eighty year old Dionne Warwick joined twitter and let’s just say that she is giving us all a good bit of light. Alex Trebex, the Jeopardy legend, passed away from pancreatic cancer. 

December, a time for family, friends, joy, giving, hope and preparation for the new year. Daily record breaking new COVID-19 cases decided to be the theme. We were warned that this would happen in the colder months but we had so much hope that things were getting better. A vaccine was also released to help stop the spread of this virus that had killed hundreds of thousands of people. A vaccine that many people are skeptical about due to the short time that it took to create. Christmas was a success for most. Before the year was out, a second stimulus check of $600 started hitting accounts. DT tried to amend it and said that the American people deserved $2,000. That was denied. 

I tried to wrap up 3000 days in a few words so I didn’t touch on everything but we made it through, To those we loss this year, You are not forgotten. Rest peacefully! We are more than conquerors and 2020 gave us the strength we needed to give us what we prayed for in 2019. Thank you 2020! We can take it from here!

Peace out 2020!



Dear Empath,

Empaths are highly sensitive individuals, who have a keen ability to sense what people around them are thinking and feeling. Psychologists may use the term empath to describe a person that experiences a great deal of empathy, often to the point of taking on the pain of others at their own expense.” – Via Google

Read more on empaths in the article discussed in the episode here.

It only took me 30+ years to find a word that could describe me. Empath was it. It’s not that I needed a label, it just helped me to make sense of the, by some standards, weird ways about myself that I never understood. These ways all make since now and are all actually connected in some weird way. The article listed above described me to a T! If you think you are an empath, just read the article and see if it describes you. I can’t even go deeper into detail because the literal definition describes the depth of it.

Listen to this weeks episode to hear me break it down and ramble a bit here!

The same way I felt after taking the How We Love test from the Dear Childhood episode is how I felt when I saw the meme on what an empath is. A sense of relief came over me. It feels so good to know that there are others out there that can relate.