Archived posts

2014

Can a woman teach a man how to be a man?

I’m not even sure where to begin. I am 30 years old and it has been a while since I have been in a relationship. I have been told that I am a woman who likes to be in control. I consider it, me being a woman taking control until someone comes around that can handle business like me or better. Since I was 17 years old I have been taking care of myself with help from GOD. 

Here is my problem. If I meet a guy that I like, I am attracted to, I have great chemistry with and he seems to be a good guy but he lacks the capabilities or ability to handle himself like a man or lacks the qualities of a man, do I work with him and assist/teach/train him how to be the man I need him to be, especially if he is willing to grow/change?

I have met a plethora of guys over the age of 25 who have never had responsibilities, bills in their name and never had to make decisions. So if I meet someone like such, is it my responsibility to teach him? Should I or any woman have to teach a man who is supposed to be the head how to handle business? I have prayed in detail for who I want as a mate and the qualities I want him to possess, but does it mean that that man will come ready made or do I have to mold him into the man I prayed for? I believe in the power of prayer and I know that you get exactly what you pray for. But I also know that it doesn’t always come wrapped in you favorite color bow. So he could very well be that man that I prayed for but just needs a little tweaking.

I’m confused at the fact that there are 30 year old men who have never been challenged or have never had the opportunity to be a man. This isn’t male bashing, just mere confusion. If I rise up to the challenge and mold this guy, I will still be considered the “woman in control.” I would also be considered an enabler, right? Or would I be considered a teacher? But how can I, as a woman, teach a guy how to be a man? I have never been a man before, I only know how real men have treated me and made me feel. 

I have taken care of myself for so long, that when I finally decide to let my guard down to the person that I trust my life with, I want him to already know what he is doing. I don’t want to have to still be in control. I’m so confused. So many questions. O_o 

Posted on 12/1/2014


Temporary bubble

Picture yourself walking down a crowded street and each person walking by, seems to call your name. You’re being pulled in a million different directions. In a moment it all becomes a blur. You step outside of yourself and into a bubble. Everything goes silent. You ignore everyone and you only see what you want to see. Feel what you want to feel. In this moment even the wrong seems right. No thoughts of the future and what’s going on. Only allowing yourself to float in the direction of peace and quiet and the pleasure of being selfish. No concerns of what should be or what anyone else thinks. Although you know that once this bubble that you’re floating in pops, reality will hit you harder than the fall that’s to come, you still enjoy the journey. Because if only for a moment, you’ll have peace from the busy day to day rollercoaster ride that lives inside of you. 

Posted on 6/16/2014


The Big 3-0


A few weeks ago I hit a milestone. I turned the big 3-0. Months leading to my birthday I felt anxious. Anxious to do all things differently. In my 20’s I played by the rules. Always wanted to make sure that when people thought of Angela only great things came from their mouths. Then I thought about it and realized my actions have never been to please the crowd. It’s always been to be the best person I could be. It’s just who I am. It cant be changed. But as my birthday approached I felt the need to be unpredictable, to try to not play by the rules for a while. To push the envelope a little in life.

Turning 30 wasn’t just another birthday for me, it was my Golden birthday (turned 30 on the 30th). Life has been perfect for me. I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m embracing all the things I can’t change and continuing to enjoy the journey. I’m ready for what this next stage in my life has to offer. Never made excuses and I won’t start now.

How I celebrated…
I wanted to do it big for my birthday. I wanted to spend it out of town and with friends and family. For the out of town portion, I went to Sin City. Las Vegas. I didn’t have plans on sleeping the whole time I was there and I accomplished that. I wanted to be VIP all weekend long and that also happened. I initially had 10 people in mind to celebrate in Vegas with me but it ended up only being 3 of us. I beleive everything happens for a reason so the two lovely ladies who celebrated in Vegas with me were the only two that mattered. It was perfect.

On my actual birthday…
I had a birthday dinner at Hard Rock Cafe on Bourbon St. I invited 15 people. 3 didnt show up. But again the ones who did show up were all that mattered. We had to wait for 2 hrs to be seated. But I had a blast while waiting. I was so overwhelmed with emotions but I didnt let it show. I went home and thanked God. I spent my 30th doing what I wanted to do the way I wanted to do it. It was perfect and priceless. I wouldn’t change a thing. So far this year the most unpredictable thing I did was cut my hair off. I’m no longer tolerating what isn’t bettering me as a woman/person. Life is much too short to do anything but enjoy it. Do what you want and love and dont make excuses for it. 30 isn’t ready for me. 
Posted on 4/10/2014